So, let’s talk about this whole “Your controller is bugged” thing. I mean, yeah, we’ve all been there at Radio Free Nintendo, where the Big Ape holds a special place in our hearts. It’s something that’s been passed down from our glorious Now Playing segments, which, by the way, are lost to time. Like, did we even know what we were doing back then?
Anyway — wait — how did I end up thinking if calling Donkey Kong “The Big Ape” even makes sense? I have this weird talent for derailing my own thoughts. So, I’m quoting this bunch called The Center for Great Apes. They’ve got a list that explains what separates apes from the rest of the animal kingdom.
Oh, hair versus fur — who knew, right? Fur does its thing and falls out; hair just keeps growing. DK’s got a quaff, so check. What about those nails and stuff? His fists are always ready to rumble, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen fingernails here and there. Thumbs? Yeah, fists again. Everyone knows smart apes can tie ties and drive. I mean, seriously, ever see a marmot ride a rhino? Prehensile fists. Padded digits? Beats me. Binocular vision? Yeah, needs it to land those punches. Smell? Your guess is as good as mine.
So, yeah, ticks enough boxes; I’m calling him an ape. But wait, there’s some quote about people messing up apes and monkeys. Main difference? Tails. And guess who’s got one — Diddy! Sorry, little guy, not an ape and, let’s face it, not the sharpest banana in the bunch.
Okay, so remember on Wednesday? They revealed Donkey Kong Bananza in a Direct. About fifteen minutes of stuff and, surprise, surprise, adolescent Pauline shows up as DK’s sidekick. This is a gold mine of meme-fodder, and you probably know all the drama. But here’s the kicker: Pauline’s human, so she’s technically an ape; Diddy isn’t. Diddy’s got an expiration date way before DK’s. Just stating facts.
And then… James diving into Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. It’s like, craft this to craft that, into a never-ending spiral of making better junk. It’s confusing as heck. A breather here was more than necessary.
Back in action, Jon’s unloading consoles at GameStop, trying to level up his tech stash. But then — boom — GameStop’s Special Agent Steve crashes the party. Who knew trading in games was this intense? Greg leads updates, gearing us up for Switch 2 with some epic racing games like Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX. Guillaume and James try out the GameChat function, playing a round of these games and getting hands-on with the Switch 2 Pro Controller.
We’re also attempting… something… with marketing pitches for Mario Kart World companies. Got ideas? Throw ’em our way.
And, oh yeah, I totally mixed up calling DK “The Big Ape.” Is it a nickname or a pseudonym? I don’t even know anymore. Whatever. It’s a nickname. I’ll keep messing these up ‘til I’m pushing up daisies.
